Hello Readers....just a note to say I am currently taking a short break from my blog to do some healing from an unexpected appendix rupture followed by surgery and a 5 day hospital stay.
Will get back to blogging when I feel better.
Have lots of great posts on the back burner...including a follow up to my last Mother Outlaws Speakers Series', guest writer interviews, and much more !
Please check back for these posts.
Until then, wishing everyone a peaceful holiday season celebrating with loved ones in all the ways that bring warmth to your heart.
Blessed Be!
Image credit
Mother Outlaw
Theorizing and Representing the Feminist Mother
Monday 12 December 2011
Sunday 20 November 2011
We (Still) Need to Talk About the Truths of Motherhood
"There are many masks of motherhood, but the one of silence is the most
treacherous one of all...the mask of motherhood keeps women from speaking
clearly what they know and from hearing truths too threatening to face."
(Susan Maushart, The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It)
In one particularly poignant scene in Lynn Ramsay's film adaption of Lionel Shriver's novel We Need to Talk about Kevin, the character of Eva (portrayed by the brilliant Tilda Swinton) attempts to silence both her baby’s incessant crying and her own maternal despair by pushing her pram next to a loud drilling in the middle of a busy city street. Viewers are positioned to be bystanders to her transgressive act, and like the passerbys on the screen, we can choose to either engage or look and then turn away.
Although I will be writing a more full review of this much anticipated film in the coming weeks after itsToronto
December release, I really wanted to talk here in this post about the visual imagery of
maternal ambivalence and more generally, the subject of the unspoken yet complex realities of the mothering experience.
In a feature essay in the most recent issue of Brain Child Magazine, Katy Read wonders:
"So which are we: A culture in which mothers hesitate to voice misgivings for fear of social reprisal? Or one so inundated with maternal kvetching that onlookers are understandably tired of it?"
I would agree with this writer that “it is still rare and socially risky for mothers to admit any discontent” and that “such intense societal disapproval” of maternal ambivalence keeps the subject under wraps . Indeed, I believe that far from reaching a “cultural tipping point”, there is an ever increasing backlash against such expressions of the taboo aspects of mothering. Read explains it this way: "Cultural constraints lead mothers to complain, which draws societal condemnation, which makes mothers feel even more stifled, which provokes further complaint …".
(Susan Maushart, The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It)
In one particularly poignant scene in Lynn Ramsay's film adaption of Lionel Shriver's novel We Need to Talk about Kevin, the character of Eva (portrayed by the brilliant Tilda Swinton) attempts to silence both her baby’s incessant crying and her own maternal despair by pushing her pram next to a loud drilling in the middle of a busy city street. Viewers are positioned to be bystanders to her transgressive act, and like the passerbys on the screen, we can choose to either engage or look and then turn away.
Although I will be writing a more full review of this much anticipated film in the coming weeks after its
In a feature essay in the most recent issue of Brain Child Magazine, Katy Read wonders:
"So which are we: A culture in which mothers hesitate to voice misgivings for fear of social reprisal? Or one so inundated with maternal kvetching that onlookers are understandably tired of it?"
I would agree with this writer that “it is still rare and socially risky for mothers to admit any discontent” and that “such intense societal disapproval” of maternal ambivalence keeps the subject under wraps . Indeed, I believe that far from reaching a “cultural tipping point”, there is an ever increasing backlash against such expressions of the taboo aspects of mothering. Read explains it this way: "Cultural constraints lead mothers to complain, which draws societal condemnation, which makes mothers feel even more stifled, which provokes further complaint …".
Our Mother Outlaws Speakers Series this Tuesday Nov 22 in Toronto will address this
topic specifically by showcasing the work of three local artists who make
visible the hidden and often challenging experiences of women’s lives as
mothers.
Portrait
of the Artist as a Mother: Visualizing the Unspoken, consists of
presentations by Canadian visual artists: Jennifer Linton, Jennifer Long and
Lindsay Page. Through their individual practices in photography, drawing and
video, these artists create work that challenges the myth of motherhood as
celebration and seeks to open up a dialogue around the aspects of this
transition that are, in a variety of ways, unspoken.
The
artists in this panel discussion create work that seeks to address
the complexity of one’s relationship to the role of mother and in turn focus on how apprehension
and taboo, loss and disappearance intermingle with the celebratory aspects of
this transition. They challenge the stereotypes and critique the societal
pressures to conform to an ill-fitting mold that somehow still remains intact
and supported.
Undoubtedly, more honest and accurate visualizations of mothering “realities" -such as the ones
expressed by these artists - can lead towards radical transformations and challenges
to the dominant representations of motherhood as all bliss and perfection . Of course, in conjunction with such diverse
visual representations, mothers themselves must do the essential work of “unmasking motherhood” by speaking authentically and collectively with
other woman about these buried truths.
As Susan Maushart wrote: “Unmasking motherhood is a greater challenge to the
feminist imagination than all the other ‘women’s issues' put together”.
There is one
moment I remember very clearly from my own early years of motherhood. Pushing my
carriage alongside another new mother I had recently met in my neighbourhood,
we attempted to have a casual conversation about diapers and sleep deprivation above the din of her daughter’s shrill
crying (my son just happened to be asleep at that time). We approached the
top of a steep hill and this woman abruptly stopped herself in her tracks. I
looked at her directly and with my eyes
invited her to “ just say it, sister!” She spoke her
truth: “ I kind of feel like I just want to push this stroller down the hill!” I simply replied
with three words- “I hear you”- and
advised her to go ahead of me taking my son and that I would continue behind
her at a comfortable distance with her
daughter. She knew that she was not alone
in her experiencing of such
contradictory feelings. And I knew that I
had found a true friend.
I hope the readers of my post also have a network of support to discuss their true feelings about mothering.
FYI: Upcoming Mother Outlaws discussion groups- Speakout and Speakeasy
For mothers in the London, Ontario vicinity, the next meeting of the London Feminist Mamas is Monday, November 21 at 6:30pm
Topic- Mothering and Guilt
For further information, contact Coordinator Shawna at
shawna@syncreo.com
For mothers in Toronto, the next meeting of the Toronto Feminist Moms is Sunday, November 27 at 7 pm
Topic- What are the reasons and
advantages in continuing to focus on mothers, motherhood and mothering, as
opposed to parents, parenthood and parenting?
For further information, contact Coordinator Rebecca at torontofeministmoms@gmail.com
A London, England group is in its initial planning stages...please contact Jane at mothers@ambitiousmamas.co.uk for more details.
For information about starting your own Mother Outlaws discussion group in your community, please feel free to contact me at linnbaran@sympatico.ca
Image credits:
Jennifer Linton, I Speak you into Being-Gravid Series, 2003
Lindsay Page,
untitled-Spawn Series, 2007
Jennifer Long, untitled- Fold Series, 2011
Sunday 13 November 2011
Mother Outlaws Speak the Unspoken about Motherhood
My full post on this topic will be up soon ...until then please see information about our next Mother Outlaws Speakers Series` on Nov 22, 2011 in Toronto.
Image credit: "Genesis" by Jennifer Linton, 2004
Image credit: "Genesis" by Jennifer Linton, 2004
Mothering for Schooling: Beyond Bake Sales (The Marketization of Motherhood -Part Two)
The issue I addressed in my previous post regarding the ethical implications
of how to resist corporate capitalism’s continuous
encroaching on family life was further illustrated for me the other weekend when I attended the annual People for Education conference at York
University.
Although Executive Director and Founder, Annie Kidder truly summed up this amazing conference here , I remain perplexed in my questions about how "mothers" are often the hidden gendered labor behind the scenes of a school's (and its students) perceived success or failure.
Just as was detailed in this groundbreaking book, mothers' work in and on behalf of their childrens' schools has highlighted inequities of educational opportunities for all children and been increasingly intensified as resources are withdrawn from public schools and our governments shift much of the work of teaching and learning to families. I would also add fundraising to this list as an assumed duty for all mothers of school-aged children to perform.
In a panel session entitled “Public Schools and Private Money: The Fundraising Dilemma”, discussions highlighted the “desperate times call for drastic measures” notion whereby short on money for everything from math workbooks to pencils, public schools are seeking corporate sponsors, promising them marketing opportunities and access to students in exchange for desperately needed donations. Of course, we all know that many public schools are struggling financially and with the threat of closure due to decreased enrollment. We also are aware that several schools are seeking alternative solutions which include big money corporate sponsers entering the schools, using our children as salespeople, and essentially moving from bake sales to big business.
However, one cannot overlook the “bigger picture” and "make the connections" – as was emphasized at the entire People for Education conference.
Why are parents and school councils having to resort to such fundraising measures to compensate for a lack of support for public schools by our current government?
What does it mean to contribute via such fundraising mechanisms to the creation of ‘Have’ and ‘Have-not’ schools?
In her presentation based on a recent report by Social PlanningToronto , entitled"PUBLIC SYSTEM, PRIVATE MONEY:
Fees, Fundraising and Equity in the Toronto District SchoolBoard" Lesley Johnston,
Research and Policy Analyst, highlighted how socio-economic, ethno-cultural and
neighbourhood divides in the city are being institutionalized in a number of
ways so that the principles of equity and inclusivity in our public education
system are being undermined.
In this session, participants asked each other:
"Should Private Money Fund Public Schools?"
"Should public-private partnerships be formed to shore up gaps in school budgets? "
This Mother Outlaw is curious what others think about the equity and ethical concerns on this current issue.
Where are lines being drawn on equity principles and how much longer are parents (albeit mothers) expected to fill in with their time and skills to compensate for our current government's inability to provide adequate funding and support for all public schools?
** * Added note: I have no skills in baking however I DO have many other skills to make changes in how we discuss important issues that effect mothers...
Image Credits:
In a panel session entitled “Public Schools and Private Money: The Fundraising Dilemma”, discussions highlighted the “desperate times call for drastic measures” notion whereby short on money for everything from math workbooks to pencils, public schools are seeking corporate sponsors, promising them marketing opportunities and access to students in exchange for desperately needed donations. Of course, we all know that many public schools are struggling financially and with the threat of closure due to decreased enrollment. We also are aware that several schools are seeking alternative solutions which include big money corporate sponsers entering the schools, using our children as salespeople, and essentially moving from bake sales to big business.
However, one cannot overlook the “bigger picture” and "make the connections" – as was emphasized at the entire People for Education conference.
Why are parents and school councils having to resort to such fundraising measures to compensate for a lack of support for public schools by our current government?
What does it mean to contribute via such fundraising mechanisms to the creation of ‘Have’ and ‘Have-not’ schools?
In her presentation based on a recent report by Social Planning
In this session, participants asked each other:
"Should Private Money Fund Public Schools?"
"Should public-private partnerships be formed to shore up gaps in school budgets? "
This Mother Outlaw is curious what others think about the equity and ethical concerns on this current issue.
Where are lines being drawn on equity principles and how much longer are parents (albeit mothers) expected to fill in with their time and skills to compensate for our current government's inability to provide adequate funding and support for all public schools?
** * Added note: I have no skills in baking however I DO have many other skills to make changes in how we discuss important issues that effect mothers...
Image Credits:
"Cupcakes Clone" via Toni Busch
"Blogging Hands" via Social Solutions
Tuesday 8 November 2011
Mommy Blogs, Marketization and why this Mother Outlaw will Never Contribute to a Half-Baked Sale of Her Feminist Soul (Part 1)
One of my favourite feminist mother bloggers had an interesting post the other day entitled “Bad pitches I’ve spared you from”. Annie of Phd in Parenting addresses the oft-discussed issue in the mamasphere of how one should react to corporate pitches that are inappropriate to your blog or your audience.
I loved her transparent honesty in discussing this topic because it reflects my own concerns regarding the intentions for my blog as a community building tool versus an outlet for “mommy marketization”.
In the groundbreaking collection of essays Mothering and Blogging: The Radical Act of the MommyBlog by MIRCI’s Demeter Press, several contributors also highlighted these same concerns.
In her chapter “Web 2.0, Meet the Mommy Bloggers” Ann Douglas parenting writer, discusses this darker side of the “mamasphere” — how the influx of marketers and marketing make mothers compete against each other for a slice of the pie. This pie is not just financial recompense, though, as she notes:
Jen Lawrence, formerly of MUBAR and now blogger at Dwell on These Things furthered this discussion in her great chapter “Blog for Rent: How Marketing is Changing Our Mothering Conversations” , by addressing how the advent of the monetization movement for mommy bloggers completely altered the dynamic between bloggers and readers, and among bloggers themselves. She includes one of my favourite analogies of all time, with respect to marketing and mommy bloggers:
I think that blogging can be an incredibly powerful tool when it comes to building community, even if there are blog ads running down the sidebar. [...] But I don’t want blogging to become just another guerilla marketing technique. I don’t want to be invited to a friend’s home, only to discover I was really invited to a Tupperware party.
At MIRCI’s most recent conference in October this year , one of my fellow feminist motherhood researchers, Andrea Doucet, presented a paper entitled “Maternal Thinking in a Digital and Neo-Liberal Age: Mommy Blogging and the Blurring of Care, Work and Consumption”.
Her awesome presentation was rooted in Sara Ruddick’s revolutionary work on maternal thinking and how this feminist scholar’s theories of care are being both expanded and challenged by current 21st century mothering practices. Specifically, Doucet’s paper discussed how maternal subjectivities are being altered by new social media and the rapid proliferation of “mommy blogging”. Doucet argued that although this social medium can disrupt the binaries of mothers’ paid and unpaid work , it often remains firmly entrenced in notions of consumption over care due to the proliferation of corporate sponsorships and marketing products being directed towards and accepted by these bloggers.
Of course, Doucet-and myself, too in this post -are not saying that women who are currently the primary caregivers of their children should not take advantage of additional sources of income that can be accomplished from their home base. My own mother operated several small businesses-child care provider, house cleaner, and Tupperware salesperson, to name a few-while she was home with her young children.
However, in the case of "mommy blogs"- established as essentially a virtual community of support for mothers-there is a concern about how corporatism and commercialization are usurping an otherwise powerful medium for women as mothers and social activists.
What remains most illuminating to me personally from Doucet’s presentation was her thought-provoking questions to the audience:
“ How can 'mommy blogging' resist hegemonic forms of mothering and remain a radical act of maternal re-thinking?”
This Mother Outlaw is curious what others think about this issue?
Image credit: http://annetaintor.com/
This Mother Outlaw is curious what others think about this issue?
Image credit: http://annetaintor.com/
Tuesday 1 November 2011
Street Hauntings: Outlaw Mothers Taking Back the Night
The title of this post alludes to several themes.
Of course, as it is being written the day after Halloween, it is meant to incite “spooky” interest about a night that celebrates dressing up in “costumes” that may or may not reflect our “other” selves. The title also is an ode to Virgina Woolf’s famous essay about a woman who, in the quest to buy a pencil, enjoys a day of carefree street sauntering in the city.
And finally, the subtitle refers to : the empowering process of being a “mother outlaw” and and the need for all women (and their children) to reclaim “the night” and “the streets” as their own without a fear of violence.
I have been a proud supporter of “Take Back the Night” events in
I proudly reclaimed the streets with other women and did it with an empowered sense of bold defiance that only comes with those moments of feminist activism when you know “you are not alone” . I also took my neice to these events for many years-from the ages of 8-13- and she fondly remembers them now as a young woman, as being the consciousness-raising moments for her own feminism.
HOWEVER, it saddens me that, in 2011- women (and children) still cannot walk our city streets without fearing for their safety. I am angered that, in 2011, women and young girls are still told that they should refrain from dressing in a certain way , more specicifically, not dressing like “sluts”, to avoid rape and sexual harassment.
Although, the global movement of the Slutwalks this year has continued to raise both media attention and individual awareness to the continued issue of violence against women, I remain disheartened about continued patriarchal dictates regarding safety issues for women; whereby the blame for potential sexual harrassment (and possible rape) is placed on what a woman wears versus the onus and focus being placed on the actual perpretrators of such crimes. I also find it quite disheartening that a healthy divisional faction within the feminist movement itself on this issue - ie. how activism regarding violence against women should be publically addressed- is being used in the media to further a discrediting and silencing on such an important topic.
YET......here is my truth....
I am still walking the streets alone as an independent woman , yet contine to look over my shoulder for concerns regarding my safety.
I continue to receive critical comments from others regarding my decisions to allow my ten year old son his own freedom - for example, this year I supported my son to go trick and treating alone with his friends -albeit with a 15 year old elder sister that did accompany them. Some how, I was being a "bad mother" in allowing my son this opportunity to roam his neighbourhood without the surveillance of his parents as chaperones.
Furthermore, women are still being told that if they dress in certain "costumes" for Halloween, they can guarantee that their "trickster" performativity can only guarantee one thing...a really "bad treat".
This Mother Outlaw has to wonder: When will our streets be truly safe for everyone to “saunter” and “street haunt” without such worry?
I attended the Toronto Slut Walk in April 2011 as a proud Mother Outlaw….I plan on attending again next year.
BUT- I have to say.... this is one feminist community mobilizing event, I wish wasn’t even in need of my support or attendance .
Monday 17 October 2011
A Blog of One’s Own….and my Dreams for a Common Language
No one lives in this room / without confronting the whiteness of the wall / behind the poems, planks of books, / photographs of dead heroines. / Without contemplating last and late / the true nature of poetry. The drive / to connect. The dream of a common language.
- Adrienne Rich, “The Origins and History of Consciousness” from The Dream of a Common Language
This quote by Adrienne Rich hangs above my writing desk. I look at it every time I sit down to write.
I believe some of the best blogs about feminism and motherhood are those which do not declare themselves to be unique creations; singular births. To me, the best blogs in this area of focus are those that believe in the power of communal thinking … "so that the experience of the mass is behind the single voice" as Virginia Woolf stated in A Room of One's Own.
My belief is that the feminist mother who never writes a word because she is currently buried at the crossroads in her life still lives. She lives in us all reading now , and in many other women who are not reading this post , for they are either washing up the dishes or putting their children to bed. Amongst other acts they are doing as mothers, feminists, activists, etc.
My belief is that the feminist mother who never writes a word because she is currently buried at the crossroads in her life still lives. She lives in us all reading now , and in many other women who are not reading this post , for they are either washing up the dishes or putting their children to bed. Amongst other acts they are doing as mothers, feminists, activists, etc.
I want my blog to be my “room of one’s own” but I also want it to be a space where MANY women can speak their truth , connect, and express their unique voices.
I don’t feel any mother should feel lost in a tunnel of isolation on their own without the potential possibilities for connection and community.
In my chapter entitled “ Mother Outlaws: Building Communities of Empowered Feminist Mothers in the Mother’hood “ in The 21st Century Motherhood Movement: Mothers Speak Out on Why We Need to Change the World and How to Do It, I describe how important a "community" of like-minded individuals means to feminist mothers:
" It has been understood by many feminist scholars of motherhood that having a community or network of supportive peers is essential for women who choose to challenge and resist dominant discourses.
In her book, Feminist Mothers, Tuula Gordon emphasizes this point:
…'feminist mothers have been able to develop critical orientations towards societal structures and cultures, stereotypical orientations and myths of motherhood. They do that in the context of exploring how the personal is political, and with the support of the networks of women which place them beyond collective isolation'.
For this reason, the provision of a judgment free space for mothers to share their personal experiences in challenging dominant discourses of motherhood was not only central to the mission of Mother Outlaws, but also built on the history of earlier feminist consciousness raising groups of the women’s movement.
In speaking collectively about how personal mothering challenges are linked and connected to larger social and political structures, Mother Outlaws strives to operate on the level of 'changing minds to change the world'. And, in building on the work of feminist theories that call for a transformational consciousness to mobilize mothers into inclusive maternity coalitions , Mother Outlaws was designed to transform the way feminist women talked to one another about their mothering experiences and to develop strategies of community activism that could lead to making life better for all mothers."
Changing minds to change the world.
This may sound like a big endeavour….but I believe in the power of a community of those who can speak a “common language”.
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